To Live Again
After getting out of the shower, I finish my morning routine. Taking in a breath, I know it’s time. I have to look in the mirror to check my appearance before I can leave the bathroom. I slowly raise my head and look, hoping that I can do it quickly without really having to notice my eyes. But, as usual, I stare into my reflection for a moment. I see the dark circles and notice that my violet eyes look the way they usually do, like I have no soul, because really I don’t; not anymore.
I know there is nothing I can do to change it, so I turn around and leave the bathroom and go off to start another new semester at Rice University. Pulling into the student parking lot, I find a place to park. I breathe deeply, relax my face muscles, and pull on the smiling mask that everyone expects of me and go looking for my class.
I am double majoring in Sociology and Psychology since I hope to become a social worker. Because of this, I am always looking to take classes that will help me understand what people are going through and how they react to dire situations. My first class on my new schedule will definitely help with that. It’s called Psychology 305: Death and Dying-Understanding the Grieving Process.
As I make my way across the parking lot, it occurs to me that it’s sort of ironic that I’m taking this class. Maybe I will get some insight into myself and finally some closure. Yeah right, and maybe I will sleep until 5:50 in the morning. Shaking my head in disgust, I square my shoulders and open the door, looking for my favorite seat…1st row, 3rd seat, closest to the door.
Immediately, I see it is already taken by a very large, very beautiful boy. Holy hell and hotness. He’s so gorgeous, but he is in my seat, so hot or not, he’s going to have to move it. If he doesn’t, at least I will have had a chance to talk to him and look at him; yeah, I’m so objectifying him right now. I bet feminism just slid back a couple of centuries, but surely women everywhere will understand when they get a load of what I’m seeing.
Even so, I walk up to his desk and as he looks up at me, I see the most gorgeous green eyes and black hair. Green eyes are my weakness and he is certainly no exception. I am standing there just staring at him so I know I have to act like I’m not affected by him at all. It’s kind of written in the girl code handbook that we can’t let hot guys know how they affect us, right?
Keeping this in mind, I look at him and say, “Excuse me, you’re in my seat.”
He laughs and says, “No sweetheart, I’m in my seat.”
I roll my eyes and move to the next seat over. A few seconds later, he taps me on the shoulder and says, “Hey, I’m Jayson or Jase, which ever you would like to call me.”
I glare at him and ask, “So? What makes you think I am going to call you anything?” He just winks at me and smiles a devastating smile. “If you want this seat, the price is introducing yourself.”
Feeling like something big is happening, I reach out my hand and say, “Hi, I’m Chloe Schaeffer.”
As our hands touch, I feel a spark of electricity and we both look at each other in a shocked way. We sit there for a second, staring at each other, with clasped hands. Jerking my hand back, I stand and wait as he gets up to exchange seats with me while feeling a little bad that I made such a big deal about a desk.
When he stands up, I look up at him and it’s a long way up there. He has black hair that looks like he either ran his hands through it a bunch of times or he just naturally has that sexy fall out of bed look. You know the kind people pay stylists a ton of money to get? Not to mention the green eyes, I know I already did, but God can you blame me?
I keep ogling him and the view just gets better and better. He has on a RU t-shirt and faded jeans that fit him just right paired with black Harley boots. But the best thing of all is his mouth. His lips are full and gorgeous and look like they’re made for sinning and I definitely want to be the first to fall from grace. I snap back to myself when I see him just standing there. I think he is secretly laughing at me so now I don’t feel so bad about stealing his seat.
The professor comes into the room and as he begins droning on and on about death, I keep sneaking peeks over at my sexy neighbor and C-R-A-P, crap, he just caught me checking him out. He looks back at me and winks. I immediately blush and look away and it hits me that for a moment, I forgot the hell that is my life.